I can’t because I do not want

-Did you bring me what I asked for?

-No, I could not.

-And then why did you tell me that you were going to bring it if you didn’t?

-I’m sorry, I didn’t have time.

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It’s annoying, and personally, very disappointing. From my viewpoint, not having time doesn’t exist, unless you die. And as you’re talking … So solve the equation! It drives me crazy, and “turn off and let’s go” I do not want to trust in that person for the next one. I have reached such a deep level of disappointment when someone does that to me, which instantly give me the desire to get them out of my life forever. I write these lines to calm down “Screaming”. Attention: people scream when they do not feel heard / understood. I’m not a psychologist, but I like to observe the obvious.🙂

How you don’t have time? Personal Analysis: I want to do “X” thing, and suddenly, I can’t because “Y” thing. I clearly see that if I do not have time to do the thing “X”, it’s because I’ve dedicated it to the “Y”. So it’s not a question of time but focus, of concentration, Of what we think is important, of PRI-O-RI-TIES. Sorry if you thought that I’ve been freaking out, I did not mean to offend or bother you.

What is a priority? It is what you want to do above all things, perhaps the reason why you get up in the morning, without the other things that do not matter so much for you.

This leads me to three conclusions: to have priorities is important, priorities set the course of your life and if they tell you to do something that is not a priority, smartly, reject it. (For projects / group work is a bit different: you all have to reach a common agreement and then set the phases of the project, done that … the rest is easy peasy). Say NO, put without offending. The offenses create feelings like anger (the most common… I think… and from what I’ve seen) which could lead to disastrous consequences. Offended, you get angry and then any idea or opinion away from yours (but maybe better) It escapes from you, as well as make you rush into your decisions and therefore, actions. “Maybe you shot someone accidentally”. Sorry again, I have a chronic anger (and I have not realized why yet) And 85% of the time I spend communicating with people I usually get angry because I often think that they say / do bullshit and then come to my mind certain symbols that refer to violence, besides that I like that type of movies (but smart, eh!).

Oh, and I also feel fairly judged.

IF YOU BELIEVE YOU CAN CONTRIBUTE WITH YOUR COMMENT ANY COMPLEMENTARY OR ABSOLUTELY DIFFERENT IDEA, YOU CAN (PLEASE!) LEAVE IT IN THE COMMENTS. YOU CAN ALSO DO IT IF YOU ARE A PSYCHOLOGIST AND YOU WANT TO HELP ME. JAJAJAJA

Have a nice day and see you next Monday!

How to motivate yourself to study

How are your studies going? Well, not? I sincerely hope so. But if this is not the case… then I recommend you to read this article, where you will find 11 tips that I use to motivate me when it comes to serious study. LET US BEGIN!!!

SOME OF THE ADVICE I USE TO MOTIVATE MYSELF:

1. REST

When you study it is important that you do not get tired, especially if it is not a subject you like too much. I personally study 25 minutes (timed) and I rest 5 minutes (also timed🙂). After 4 of these cycles of 25-5 rest about 30 minutes. If you do not have anything else to do and you feel tired, then sleep for about 90 minutes (Click here to understand why I say this). It is also important how much you sleep.

With this method I advance faster and the fatigue appears much later. I can almost spend 7 hours without feeling tired.

2. PLAN AHEAD

Establish a goal, so you can explain and improve what you are doing. In my case,
first I think what I want to achieve and why, and then I establish the best way to reach my goal (if I am with other people I ask for your opinion, and after having all possible plans I compare them (advantages and disadvantages of each method) and I modify them according to my experience and my preferences). Doesn’t matter what you study, you must find a reason why you put all that effort into it, and I hope it is not for something imposed on you by others.

Write in a post-it the benefits that brings you the effort you make and remember it when you do not have a good day… For example:

  • What I study now will help me the rest of my life.
  • It will help me find the job I want.
  • When I finish studying this I will not have to do it again.

3. CHANGE YOUR PERSPECTIVE

Some subjects may be boring. Why?, you do not know enough about them to find them the taste, or it is something very simple, which means that you know more than you need compared to what you have to study.
In both cases: try to transform them into a real interest.

Do not forget the fact that not all people have the opportunity that you have to study.

4. USE SELF-REWARDS

If you have studied all afternoon and feel that you have really advanced, give yourself a reward: your favorite food, a movie, sport…

If you know that after your effort, something cool is waiting, you will study more willingly.

How to proceed:

  • Set a goal (for example, study item 8) and a reward if you finish it as you have proposed (for example see a film).
  • That which is more complicated and requires greater effort must necessarily have greater rewards; and a bespoke reward for minor efforts.
  • If you do not make any effort, do not reward yourself.
  • In addition to the rewards, use positive affirmations: very good!, you will get it!, you are able!, Come on let’s go!…

5. PLAN THE STUDY SESSION

If you start to study but do not know where you want to go you will lose the time. Plan what you want to study and start.

How to plan yourself?

  • Make a list of goals and set a limit. It is as valid as when you plan for the exams session.
  • Do the priority first.
  • Delete what you have already finished.

6. GO TO THE LIBRARY

If you get bored or you feel like you spend too much time at home, go to the library. There you can be motivated to see that you are not the only one who is studying, but there are more people in your situation. If you go with your friends… go to study at different tables but rest together.

7. DO NOT WASTE YOUR TIME

You went to study, not to think about what time you’re going to leave or when you’re going to get home. Also, it is better to turn off the mobile and leave it in a place where you do not have it handy, so you do not stare constantly if someone has sent you a message.

8. MAKE DIFFICULT ONES FIRST

When we start doing something is when we have more energy, so dedicate yourself at that moment to do that which consumes you or demands you more. In addition, that way you will not have the constant worry throughout the day that you have to finish something difficult.

9. MUSIC

Music is an excellent method to concentrate and motivate. But attention, choose classical music or soundtracks, because if you start singing… it is not really useful since it distracts you from the subject and the objective.

10. ACCEPT STRESS

Stress is good, but the excess is harmful. A little stress will activate you for the study, but too much will have physiological repercussions… or rather pathological repercussions, also, you will consume too much energy in a useless way and you will lose concentration (which is, in some way, directly proportional to your blood glucose).

The exams are just a step of your life, and this will not end if you suspend. Instead, it is important to learn the why of what has happened, and solve it as soon as possible. Even so… fortes fortuna adiuvat (fortune helps the strong).

11. STEP BY STEP

This is related to what was said above regarding planning. Do not start studying suddenly 10 hours a day. It will frustrate you and you will be disgusted studying.

A little per day, about 2 or 3 hours to not saturate. Also if you study daily instead of the last day, you will be able to deposit much more information in your brain, which will be stored in the long-term memory.

How to develop a proactive attitude

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We all have dreams, plans and expectations. However, its application will depend largely on the attitude which is taken in your life. Certainly, being proactive does not guarantee success, but passivity guarantees failure. Here are some tips to help you produce and take a proactive attitude towards challenges.
Do not bet on passivity. React and adopt a proactive attitude. Do not let things just happen, get involved. Therefore, almost any event will be as you have decided. You can see where life takes you and be surprised by the results, or you can consciously choose to build the reality in which you want to live.
Turn these ideas into action. Taking a proactive approach is putting thoughts into action. I am brave and I dare to fight for what I want, and if I succeed in addition, the profits are huge.

Take a free attitude. The world around us is in constant movement and as a proactive person you must adapt to the different changes. To experience this feeling, try to do something different every day. See how you react and how those around you react. Learn to enjoy the variety of life and do not be afraid of anything.

Take risks, in this life nothing is easy. Each person is different and we have capabilities that can change in certain circumstances, so try to be willing to take some risks and avoid others. Don’t forget that if you want to be proactive, you must risk to win. If you have made a mistake, do not complain, this will serve to improve a little more each day.

Try to be creative in any situation, this way you’ll see that problems are solved more easily. If your goal is to become a proactive person, then you have to challenge your imagination and allow your creativity to grow. Generate ideas and strategies in order to solve any difficulties that might arise.

Always behave with others! Even if you have had a bad day do not forget to be friendly and to treat others with respect. The use of this attitude will be very beneficial for your goal. Remember that being proactive doesn’t mean being rude or arrogant, concentrate on using in the best possible way the resources you have and thus increase your self-esteem to achieve everything you want to. Don’t get depressed if you stumble, get up again; because perseverance is the key to achieve anything to want.

It is said that a true warrior is not one who never loses, but who always returns to battle.