How to say thank you

To some it may seem a banality to learn how to say thank you, but this is one of the most important skills in the art of building interhuman relationships. Let us seek to thank those around us whenever we can.

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Four keys to thank effectively:

  1. Give thanks in a clear way: Speaking clearly you do not allow any doubt that you are sincerely thanking. Do it cheerfully. If others hear you, the effect is even more powerful.
  2. Look and touch the person: Look to someone in the eyes helps to convince you of your sincerity, and touching his/her elbow slightly will remember your gratitude for a longer time.
  3. Pronounces his name: Customize your “thank you”. Saying “thank you, Ruben” has a better effect than a “thank you”
  4. Send a note: According to the situation, is the most effective way to thank. A “thank you” face-to-face is in second place followed by doing it on a phone call; and a written message is better than silence.

Let’s be honest when we thank something. Let’s make that person feel that the “thanks” are sincere. If they are not, body language will betray us. Let us become messengers of the “thank you”. Let’s look for reasons to thank for things that are not obvious.

How to overcome insecurity

In some way, all people experience insecurity. It is a natural way to test and measure the success or misfortune of your companies. If you try to jump off a cliff on a motorcycle, this quality can be very useful. But in everyday life, being too insecure even to undertake the most insignificant tasks can limit your ability to enjoy the time you have. Life changes constantly and anything that seems stable today can break or disappear tomorrow. However, if you become strong, you will be able to recover, overcome and progress on your own will and you will find happiness wherever you go.

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FIX YOUR PERSPECTIVE

  1. Try to be objective. If you feel that you can not achieve something, take a step outside yourself for a moment and imagine that you are a completely different person. Think about what you would say to another person in your situation. If you focus it this way, you will see that there is nothing to fear and you will succeed if you concentrate on it.
  2. Write down your fears. Write down all the things you are worried about and all the factors that make you feel that you can not achieve something. Read them again and ask yourself how many of those elements are rational and how many are simply the product of your negative thinking. Take the time to think about the root of your fears. Notice how many of these fears you can overcome and how many positive solutions you can think for all the things you are worried about.
    • It is completely natural to be scared of failing or of looking bad. Everyone has these fears from time to time. However, it is not natural to be so full of anguish that you block yourself.
  3. Remember all the triumphs you have had. Instead of focusing on all the times you made a fool of yourself, in the times that you failed at something or just looked like a fool, you should try to remember all the times you did something perfectly. If you remember more good times, you will have more confidence and you will have more of those moments in the future.
    • It may be helpful to write down each of your achievements after they occur. Keep an achievement journal on your desk and fill it with triumphs and good memories. When you think you can not do something or feel that you can’t do it right, you can look at your diary and remember how capable and wonderful you are.
  4. Ask yourself: “What is the worst that can happen?” Be honest with your answer. Once you realize that the worst is not that bad, you will be more prone to being dynamic and taking risks.
    • If you can not tell when your responses are no longer reasonable and begin to be ridiculous, try to turn to someone you trust. This person should be able to notice if your worst scenario is feasible or you have simply thought it too much.
  5. Now ask yourself: “What is the best thing that can happen?” This is something that insecure people usually do not do. For example, if you are nervous because you will have a first date with someone, the best thing that can happen is that you and that person like each other and begin a meaningful and satisfying relationship. Is not that worth attending? Although the best scenario is not always going to happen, having it on the mind can help you address new risks with a positive mindset.
    • Before going out to do something new, you can write down the best thing that can happen or the three best things that can happen. In this way, you will easily remember them when the time comes.
  6. Remember your positive qualities. To maintain the feeling of security, you need to remember at all times your positive qualities. Make a list of the things you like about yourself (from your kindness to your intelligence). Insecure people tend to focus only on the worst things about themselves, which leads them to not feel satisfied with what they are.
    • Just by considering the negative aspects that distinguish yourself, you focus on them and neglect your positive qualities. If you’ve been hard with yourself for a long time, at first it may be difficult to think of something worthwhile about yourself.
  7. Practice positive internal dialogue. If you’ve had a negative internal dialogue for a long time, it’s harder for you to notice it. If you always tell yourself that you are a loser, a failure or that you can not do something right, then you are doomed to think that way forever. Instead, work on telling yourself positive things about yourself so that you are more likely to take on new challenges with a healthy mindset and a desire to do well.
    • A useful exercise to make you feel more comfortable with a positive internal dialogue and to restrain your self-criticism is to tell you two sincerely pleasant things about yourself for every negative thing. They do not have to be related.
  8. Question the reason why you say no. Start saying yes more often. Instead of reviewing all the reasons why you want to say no to a new experience, try to think about what would happen if you said yes. Although all your negative responses are true, the positive scenario can lead to new and unexpected things. If nothing comes of it at all, you may feel happy to think that you are the kind of positive and open person who is willing to try new things.

TAKE ACTION

  1. Keep feeding the company. Pay attention to the friends you maintain and your attitudes towards others, himself and yourself. If you start to notice that most of your friends are always very critical you should try to find friends less judgmental. Instead, try to find people who have good things to say about others and do not pass quickly to judge.
    • If you surround yourself with negativity, even if it is not directly focused at you, you will absorb its effects. Even if your friend makes fun of someone else’s ridiculous hairstyle, but you like it, you will feel like you are wrong and you will lose confidence in your own opinion.
  2. Try to forgive more. Do not make a quick judgment. You may think that disparaging others makes you look good; however, every time you belittle someone you also criticize a quality that you possess, so you also belittle yourself. Instead, speak well of others. Not only you will have better luck making friends and having meaningful relationships, but you will also be very well.
    • If you condemn the decisions or failures of others, think about the reasons you have for doing so. If your initial thought is “Because they’re wrong,” think a little more. Why is it wrong? In what context? Is it your cultural background that makes you think that way?
  3. Do something that excites you every day. It does not have to be dangerous, just go somewhere you don’t know about the city and enter a store at random. See what you can find there. Try to talk to the seller. As you accumulate exciting experiences, you will feel more prone to being excited about life rather than being frightened by new things or new people. If you know that you can do exciting things every day, then you will stop thinking that whatever you try will end in failure.
  4. Face the defects that you can change. If you detest your freckles or the sound of your own voice, then maybe there is not much you can do about it. If you have defects that you can not change, you must strive to accept them. But if there are things you can change about yourself, such as how easily you become stressed, your lack of compassion or your lack of conviction, then you need to take some steps to work on those things. Of course, we are all born with a certain disposition and difficult to change completely, but you can definitely strive to improve the qualities that can be improved.
    • If you do something to improve things that you do not like about yourself, you will feel more secure in a short time.
    • No one said it was easy to figure out what you want to change of yourself and then do it. But that is better than the other alternative: always complain about the things you do not like about yourself without moving a finger to do something about it.
  5. Stop comparing yourself to other people. One of the best ways to feel insecure is to compare yourself to the people you meet or even to the people you see on television. If you do, you’ll probably find a way to make yourself feel ugly, poor, unsuccessful, or other unpleasant things just because you feel like you’ll never live up to other people. Instead, focus on the things that would make your life better on your own standards, not someone else’s.
    • If you are looking for enough, you can always find someone who is healthier, richer and wiser than you. However, it is very likely that there are many people who would like to be more like you in some ways.
  6. Talk about it with a close friend. One way to overcome your insecurity is to talk about it with a close friend. Having someone who knows you and understands you can help you get an unbiased opinion and can make you understand that your worries or fears are irrational. A good friend will encourage you, tell you that you can achieve your goals and can help you dispel all the negativity and doubt surrounding you.
    • Sometimes, talking about something is half the battle to solve it. Maybe you feel worse because you have locked your insecurities inside you.
  7. Strive to excel in something. If you want to feel better about yourself, then one way to do it is to try to be good at something. You can try to be good at writing stories, painting, telling jokes or speaking other languages. No matter what, what matters is that you have consecrated time and energy in something you can say: “I am very good at this.” Making an effort to succeed at something and making a commitment to do it regularly can definitely help you feel better about yourself.
  8. Learn to laugh about yourself. Usually if you are an insecure person you will take yourself too seriously and you will always be worried about failing or making a fool of yourself. Instead, if you have a good sense of humor about yourself and understand that everyone makes the ridiculous from time to time you will be more likely to have confidence, because you accept that sometimes you are wrong and you have no problems with that. You must learn to laugh about yourself and make jokes if something does not go the way you planned , instead of worrying about trying to look good all the time. It will be a great relief that you face the day with more laughter and with less worries that everything is perfect.
    • This does not mean that you should be too self-critical and laugh at yourself all the time. But it does mean that you should try not to take yourself so seriously and forgive yourself more. If you laugh about yourself, people will feel more at ease around you, because they will not be afraid to offend you and you will see that you will feel more comfortable with yourself in return.
  9. Get as much information as you can. One reason that you may feel insecure is because you hate facing uncertainty. Although you can not predict what might happen in a given situation, you may feel a little better by gathering more information about it, which will help you feel a bit more in control. This will help you feel more confident about what may happen.
  10. Remember that you are not alone. You may feel that you are the only person in the world who constantly doubts herself or feels that is not up to the task. However, you must remember that all people have felt insecure at some point. Insecurity is part of life and if you stop feeling insecure about your insecurity, you are on your way to feeling better.

A trick for a better rest

You sleep a little or you sleep too much but you’re still tired… Have you ever wondered why? Rest is something fundamental that influences our mood especially when it comes to relating to others. In the following article I will show you the reason and so you can get to sleep like a baby.

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Sleep is not a single state in which we remain while we sleep, but has 5 stages. During the course of the night, in the dream, we go through each of these stages, completing them all in a cycle that lasts approximately 90 minutes. Stages 1 and 2 are considered to be “light” sleep, while stages 3 and 4 are considered “deep” sleep. The fifth stage, which is completely different from the rest, is the phase of REM sleep (rapid eye movements), which is when we dream.

Research has shown that the duration of sleep it’s not what makes us feel fresh and clear. The key factor is the number of complete cycles we do. Every cycle of the dream, like we have already said, lasts approximately 90 minutes: 65 minutes of normal sleep (or non-REM, the first 4 stages); 20 minutes of REM sleep (the fifth stage); and 5 ending minutes in a non-REM state.

In the period between 2 sleep cycles we are not really sleeping: it is a kind of intermediate zone, in which if we are not disturbed (by the light, the cold, the noise, etc.), we enter another cycle of 90 minutes. It is a form that the brain has to be half alert to possible dangers, that is, you do not completely deactivate when you sleep, but you do it in cycles to avoid any possible danger.

For this reason, if you manage to wake up between cycles, even though you may be sleeping less hours than necessary, you may feel better by respecting these 90 minutes than if you sleep more than you count, but you wake up or wake you up in half of some of the cycles. That is to say if you sleep 4 hours and a half (multiple of 90 minutes) you will wake up much more rested than if you do it after 8 hours.

So the secret is obvious, sleep cycles of 90 minutes also taking into account what hard to sleep. An example, if you want to wake up at 8 in the morning and it is 22 at night you should sleep at 23:00 for 6 complete cycles of sleep, 00:30 for 5 cycles, 02:00 for 4 cycles, etc. Attentive to the fact that I said sleep, that is, you will have to go to bed 5-15 minutes in advance so that you are more or less asleep at the chosen time.

If you are going to take a nap or if you want to sleep a bit although it is too late consider this detail and you will feel much better when you wake up. Remember that you should try to sleep about 5-6 cycles, and I also have observed that before midnight if you start the rest period goes much better. I have noticed the difference.

Sleep tight!